Observation 2/24

Johnny Weir is the Lady Gaga of ice skating.

Observation 2/22

Leftover pizza is nom nom nom.

Observation 2/21

Watching Air Force One again, I wonder two things.

1. Why isn't Harrison Ford our president? He's perfect.

2. Why doesn't anyone ever spend hours and hours of pseudo-news cable network time devoted to attacking Harrison Ford for CLEARLY using a teleprompter during his speech?

Observation 2/20

When you can't count for giggling and find that all the luck in the world is against you, anyway, losing Monopoly can be just as much fun as winning.

Observation 2/19

One of the multitude of birds who has inspiringly decided that spring is nigh sounded exactly like one of the old-school Space Invaders video games, "Ptoo, ptoo!" this morning.

Observation 2/18

I'm fairly certain Pringles are more addictive than crack.

Observation 2/17

Who needs facts when you have bribes?

Observation 2/16

I sincerely hope that the people who invented Latisse, the eyelash-lengthening medication, did so on accident. I would no longer like to live in a world where research funds are devoted to finding out how to make women's eyelashes longer.

Observation 2/15

Listening to the medal counts at the end of the day is always one of the best parts of the Olympics, simply because America almost always is leading. Despite what we say about unity and globalization, there is something satisfying about winning, even if we average Americans had absolutely nothing to do with it, if we didn't even watch the damn games. Just being able to say, "HA! America is awesome" makes the Games even more fun.

Observation 2/10

There is so much funny in this world.